Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Where am I at right now?

We didn’t really get to do anything for Litha this year, what with DH’s seizures and my pain. I still want to do something soon, probably on Friday or Saturday, even though the summer solstice was a week or so ago. That’s one thing I absolutely love about Paganism, there are no hard and fast rules—certainly not like Catholicism.

I guess I should give an update on where I'm at right now. I am a witch, but not a Wiccan. I’ve followed the Mother Goddess Mary since I was four. When I was Catholic I almost always prayed to Mary, as the Mother of Jesus, and becoming Pagan has put a new spin on the great love I have for her. My heart is also being pulled toward Al-Lat, in the Arabic Pantheon. Al-Lat was the Great Mother Goddess in pre-Islamic Arabia, and actually the goddess that Mohammed worshiped before the fabrication of Islam. Al-Lah was her consort, not her father, as the Qur’an's "Satanic Verses," incorrectly states. So that’s a bit about the goddesses I feel called to. While I feel nature has a duality to it, and there are gods along with the goddesses, I don’t feel a connection to any god.

I live in severe chronic pain, to the point it greatly limits my magick. I am trying to learn to block out the pain when I need to, but I still have a ways to go before I can do that. I have been looking for goddesses that help with healing pain, and recently found three I want to learn more about. They are Achelois, Epione, and Airmed. Achelois’s name means “she who washes away pain,” and she was a minor Greek moon goddess. Epione was a Greek goddess who specializes in the soothing of pain, her name actually means “soothing.” Wikipedia says “She was the wife of Asclepius and mother of Panacea, the goddess of medicines, and Hygieia, the goddess of health. She was probably also the mother of the famous physicians Machaon and Podalirius.” Airmed knows all the secrets of herbalism, is the goddess of medicine and all healing arts, understanding family loyalty, and inspiration to craftspeople.

I am currently working on some long blog entries for this blog.  They are on Litha and a series on headcovering, ending with Pagan headcovering. I am involved in a group on FB called Covered in Light that practices Pagan headcovering. I don’t cover often, but wish I did more. I’m also a hardcore feminist, so don’t think that covering is somehow against feminism, because it isn’t. ;-)

I am changing the name of my blog from Catholic-Pagan Spoonie to Pagan Spoonie, because I think some people have the impression that I am a Christian-Pagan, which I am not.  I used the word Catholic before Pagan to show that I worship Mary as a Goddess, but I think it has caused more confusion than anything.  So I'll be changing my blog's name and remaking my blog button.  I'll also be listing blogs of my friends and Sister's from a facebook group on my blog, so you will have some great reading material!  This may take some time to do, but I hope to have it finished soon.

I want to start meditating more often when I'm not in unbearable severe pain, so that when I get that way it will be easier for me to get in a meditative state.  I highly recommend the book How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard if you are chronically ill or in chronic pain.  It is a great guide to acceptance and Buddhist meditative practices.  You can buy How to Be Sick from Amazon or from Toni's How to Be Sick website.

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