Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Where am I at right now?

We didn’t really get to do anything for Litha this year, what with DH’s seizures and my pain. I still want to do something soon, probably on Friday or Saturday, even though the summer solstice was a week or so ago. That’s one thing I absolutely love about Paganism, there are no hard and fast rules—certainly not like Catholicism.

I guess I should give an update on where I'm at right now. I am a witch, but not a Wiccan. I’ve followed the Mother Goddess Mary since I was four. When I was Catholic I almost always prayed to Mary, as the Mother of Jesus, and becoming Pagan has put a new spin on the great love I have for her. My heart is also being pulled toward Al-Lat, in the Arabic Pantheon. Al-Lat was the Great Mother Goddess in pre-Islamic Arabia, and actually the goddess that Mohammed worshiped before the fabrication of Islam. Al-Lah was her consort, not her father, as the Qur’an's "Satanic Verses," incorrectly states. So that’s a bit about the goddesses I feel called to. While I feel nature has a duality to it, and there are gods along with the goddesses, I don’t feel a connection to any god.

I live in severe chronic pain, to the point it greatly limits my magick. I am trying to learn to block out the pain when I need to, but I still have a ways to go before I can do that. I have been looking for goddesses that help with healing pain, and recently found three I want to learn more about. They are Achelois, Epione, and Airmed. Achelois’s name means “she who washes away pain,” and she was a minor Greek moon goddess. Epione was a Greek goddess who specializes in the soothing of pain, her name actually means “soothing.” Wikipedia says “She was the wife of Asclepius and mother of Panacea, the goddess of medicines, and Hygieia, the goddess of health. She was probably also the mother of the famous physicians Machaon and Podalirius.” Airmed knows all the secrets of herbalism, is the goddess of medicine and all healing arts, understanding family loyalty, and inspiration to craftspeople.

I am currently working on some long blog entries for this blog.  They are on Litha and a series on headcovering, ending with Pagan headcovering. I am involved in a group on FB called Covered in Light that practices Pagan headcovering. I don’t cover often, but wish I did more. I’m also a hardcore feminist, so don’t think that covering is somehow against feminism, because it isn’t. ;-)

I am changing the name of my blog from Catholic-Pagan Spoonie to Pagan Spoonie, because I think some people have the impression that I am a Christian-Pagan, which I am not.  I used the word Catholic before Pagan to show that I worship Mary as a Goddess, but I think it has caused more confusion than anything.  So I'll be changing my blog's name and remaking my blog button.  I'll also be listing blogs of my friends and Sister's from a facebook group on my blog, so you will have some great reading material!  This may take some time to do, but I hope to have it finished soon.

I want to start meditating more often when I'm not in unbearable severe pain, so that when I get that way it will be easier for me to get in a meditative state.  I highly recommend the book How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard if you are chronically ill or in chronic pain.  It is a great guide to acceptance and Buddhist meditative practices.  You can buy How to Be Sick from Amazon or from Toni's How to Be Sick website.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Dream Journal - Franciscans, Carmelites, and Poor Clares...oh my!

I had a dream last night that I was being held captive by cloistered nuns who had taken a vow of silence.  They wouldn't speak, yet they would lock me into a small room with white walls.  They wore habits (most nuns don't anymore), and they would let me out of my room to go to the bathroom, but then they would lock me back up again afterwards.  My grandmother (whom I hate) was a nun there.  My old nun from college was there, too.  She was the only one of the nuns who could speak.  (She's a Franciscan nun in an active order, while the only cloistered orders I can think of off hand are the Carmelites and the Franciscan Poor Clares.)  My sister was also being held captive a few rooms down, but she didn't realize she couldn't leave.  Because she didn't realize the danger, they often let her go and she came back every time.  They never let me go, though, because I did realize the danger.  My sister's husband was allowed to see her, while mine wasn't allowed to see me.  It was very realistic, and all day the dream was so clear in my head that it was eerie.

I'm having trouble with my bipolar right now, and I know it helped spur on the dream, but I really wanted to write it all down while it is still with me.

Cloistered, contemplative Carmelite nuns

Friday, June 15, 2012

Inner calm

I feel good.  Not that I'm out of pain, or that my brain gets all the blood it needs when I stand up, because that hasn't changed any--I feel inspired, in touch with the spiritual, and deeply contemplative.  I'm in a special place, where my everyday routine still leaves room for discovery, rather than stifling me.  Meditation this evening reminded me how good it feels; I hadn't even noticed that I'd fallen out of practice until tonight.  I'm in bed typing, but my back is hurting very bad sitting like this, so I am going to have to get off my laptop, even though I have so much to say.  I'm going to try to get some sleep tonight, then tomorrow I want to start a fresh new day.  I hope to post more then.



Monday, June 4, 2012

June Full Moon - Strong Sun Moon

June's Full Moon is called the Strong Sun Moon, Moon of Horses, Lovers' Moon, Honey Moon, Aerra Litha (Before Litha), Brachmanoth (Break Month), Strawberry Moon, Rose Moon, or Moon of Making Fat.  It was the Festival of Edfu for Hathor in Egypt, and on the New Moonher image made it's journey over the water to Edfu to the temple of Horus, celebrating the sexual union of the two.  The Summer Solstice also happens in June in the Northern Hemisphere, in the Southern Hemisphere the Winter Solstice is celebrated.  In some magickal traditions this is the time when the Goddess weds the God.

This is a good time for magick, and working with all the elements, as pyschic energy flows freely under this moon. It also is a time for maintaining and enhancing what we already have, such as our jobs, education, relationships with friends and family, and our gardens.


Pagan


Correspondences:
Colors: Sun colors -- gold, yellow, orange, golden-green
Gemstones: Topaz, agate, alexandrite, flourite
Trees: Oak, maple
Goddesses: Isis, Cerridwen, Persephone, Ishtar, Aine of Knockaine, Neith, Bendis
Gods: Green Man
Herbs: Parsley, mosses, skullcap, mugwort, meadowsweet, vervain, tansy, dog grass,
Element: Earth
Flowers: lavender, orchid, yarrow
Scents: lily of the valley, lavender
Nature Spirits: sylphs, zephrs
Animals: monkey, butterfly, frog, toad
Birds: wren, peacock
Power Flow: full but restful energy; protect, strengthen, and prevent. A time of light; Earth tides are turning.  Decision-making, taking responsibility for present happenings. Work on personal inconsistencies. Strengthen and reward yourself for your positive traits.


Sources:

Conway, D. J. Moon Magick: Myth & Magick, Crafts & Recipes, Rituals & Spells. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1995. Print.

Wigington, Patti. "2012 Pagan/Wiccan Calendar." About.com Paganism / Wicca. Web. 04 Jun. 2012. <http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/holidaysandcelebrations/a/2012Calendar.htm>.

Wigington, Patti. "Strong Sun Moon." About.com Paganism / Wicca. Web. 04 Jun. 2012. <http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/moonphasemagic/g/Strong_SunMoon.htm>.